Why I've stopped blogging

I promise you this picture is related to my blog post.

With almost a month since my last post, this might just be the longest break I've ever taken from blogging. I'll explain why in a bit but stick with me while I reminisce the good times.

It's been more than ten years since that day I stumbled upon blogger through a Yahoo search and started documenting my life. I've had ups and downs, although more ups than downs in the recent years. My readership has grown through the years and even shot up in 2015. It amazes me to no end how many people told me I inspired them. I'm just a small town girl you see in your everyday life - the thought of people being interested in me is still a relatively strange concept till today. I'm deeply humbled.

I still adore this space of mine dearly but that's precisely the reason I've stopped writing. Because people are interested, so I have to stop. I hate knowing that I'm no longer providing my readers with what they were here for from the start - my standard of English has dropped tremendously, so much that I have difficulties stringing sentences smoothly, and turning them into paragraphs of ramblings like I used to do. I feel incredibly stupid reading some of my recent posts - I know they are half-assed, written and posted just to keep this blog alive.

Do I want a blog where posts are quantity over quality? I don't think I can do that to something I so painstakingly built up over the years.

I knew for a long time that my English language has been deteriorating and I always told myself it's not my fault I'm too busy to do something about it but I realised it's all excuses. The problem with my generation is that we are all so addicted to our smartphones. If I have the time to refill my food on Neko Atsume (my newest addiction!!!), I can use the time to read a few pages from a book. It doesn't even have to be a novel. Just any book.

With that thought in mind, I picked up reading again, beginning with the few books I have at home that I bought when I was younger. Now I bring a book wherever I go, forcing myself to read even if I feel sleepy in the morning. Barely a week later, I can already feel my language improving. Before, I couldn't even write a short post of three paragraphs without taking a few days and words could no longer flow out as freely as they used to. But today, I finished writing this post in 30 minutes and I could just feel the words rushing out of my fingers as I typed furiously away.

Still, I don't want to commit to writing on here until I'm satisfied with my language skills again. I don't want to just churn out posts after posts that I don't feel passionate about. It's rubbish and I don't want my blog to turn into crap. It's okay if my language isn't stupendous and my vocabulary doesn't have to be remarkable either - I just need to to be proud of whatever content I put up here.

So this is a break I'll take for an indefinite amount of time. Who knows how long will it be till my English becomes as good as it was before. And hopefully, even better. I'm aware that by doing this I may lose readers, but at the end of the day, I think this is for the best in the long run. I will miss writing here but I keep reminding myself, quality over quantity.

I'll see you again by my 20th birthday. :-)

Meanwhile, you can still find me on instagram, twitter and dayre.

xxx